A letter to everyone.

Hello Everyone!
Having a Chronic illness is the hardest thing to explain to the outside world. In turn it is a difficult concept to grasp for anyone on the outside looking in. So, hopefully these short reminder lists are worth the read for you.

To the chronically ill

 Don't forget the following points:

• Understanding a Chronic illness is easier when you have one yourself. 
• Getting frustrated and upset at the people around us for not understanding is usually the first reaction we will have after trying to explain what is wrong. This is only natural but think of it like a lesson at school that you really couldn't get to grips with (for me that was maths) just know that the person who doesn't understand your chronic illness is probably as frustrated as you that they don't understand.
• Its super hard to get into a routine where you take a step back and try to put yourself in the position of others - Especially when you are in pain - but it is also super important to do this. 
• You are your biggest support, relying on those around you to lift you up can lead to you feeling even more deflated. 
• Don't take it to heart when your healthy peers don't understand, they don't have to try if they don't want to. Everyone is different.
• Some people just cant process that it is even possible for an invisible illness to exist and that's okay. 
• If you need support, there are online support groups and thankfully with the power of social media, you are able to connect with others going through the same thing. (sometimes its better to vent to these people than the people around you as they might feel like you are constantly annoyed at them)
• Look after yourself. Do what makes you feel good. Don't rely on someone else to make you happy. 

To the healthy peers

Please don't forget:

• You will not understand straight away and that's okay. Forgive us for our frustration.
• You will not say the right things straight away. We are complicated creatures, please be patient.
• Have patience with the chronically ill, they cant help feeling like a burden for not being able to do the same things as you and don't mean to cancel plans or postpone them.
• Chronically ill people don't want to have to constantly explain what is wrong with them. Educate yourself, use google, YouTube and social media to try to find out more information about their illness. (They would have had to do this when they were diagnosed)
• They will not get better, asking them if they are okay frequently can become disheartening as it reminds them that they are often not okay. Instead, try recognising when they are having a good day and say something like "I am proud of you for how well you are coping today" (This will gain major brownie points and mean the absolute world to them!! You're Welcome!)
• Offer assistance but don't take over. We like to know that you care but also like to take on tasks that make us feel like we have accomplished something. 
• Don't forget to look after yourself. Give yourself the time to be the best version of you. At the end of the day doing everything you can for that person may still not feel good enough. Do not put their happiness before your own! We will often thrive off of your positivity. 

Always put yourself first no matter if you are chronically ill or not. Don't do anything you don't want to do. 
Love yourselves and each other and reach out to others if you need to.
Charlotte x

Author - Charlotte Bull

Instagram - @chronicleofcharlotte ​